Twenty twenty-one was a year defined by change for me. My husband and I decided to take advantage of the budding real estate market and sell our house. We needed something a little larger, for only a short three years until our oldest girls move on to college, so we decided to rent. Our first rent house lasted 11 of the 24 month lease we signed because we discovered a mold issue requiring not just repairs, but full blown restoration. We weren’t willing to live through mold removal with three kids in the house so we got out of the lease and moved…again. I also retired, only to take a part-time job five months later that I would have to leave after two months so that I could home school our seven-year-old daughter.
Now I find myself in the role of mother and teacher which requires me to redefine a lot (read everything) regarding how I thought my life would look right now. As someone who already struggles to find balance between family and self, I find myself grasping for anything that feels like me, like the person I was or the person I want(ed) to be.
Two nights a week my youngest does gymnastics. On one such evening, as I sat in my car reeling from the days activities and emotions and thinking about what I was going to make for dinner, I selected a mindfulness meditation titled Accepting Change. I was a bit skeptical – I feel like I’ve heard, read, seen, tried to embrace or absorb through osmosis nearly everything about change. But when one has nothing to lose…
During next nine minutes I was called upon by silence to hang my feet at a canyon’s edge and feel the cool air coming up through the crack in the earth, breathing new life into me. I was told to step out of my wild mind and reminded that to resist change means trapping myself between the past and the future. That change is a gift of time and space to realign all that I want for this life.
Read that again. That change is a gift of time and space to realign all that I want for this life. When I finished that meditation I sat very still in my car for a several minutes. I let those words wash over me, calm me, and provide me with a much needed shift in perspective. I listen to that meditation almost every day because in this season of life I need the reminder that change should not be feared or resisted, but embraced and given so much light and love that the only possible outcome is a beautiful one.
Here is a link to the meditation Accepting Change by Sarah Blondin.